My Journey Into Bioenergetics Part 4

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Restrictions In My Chest Area

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  • Lack Of Mobility, Feeling
  • Lack Of Aliveness
  • Slower Metabolism

It’s been a while since I last wrote about this subject. There are several things that have happened…that I haven’t talked about, yet—up until now.

Where do I start? I mentioned perhaps, I’m not quite sure, that I had restrictions in my chest area—my therapist told me that—and this was a problem because…supposedly, when you don’t feel your chest than the whole body is dead basically. Yeah I know, pretty weird—but true—apparently.

I wish she had explained it to me a bit better! I wish I had asked. I didn’t have the guts to do it, at the time.

But from what I can understand now, and what I’ve read…in the past, it makes sense that if you have a lack of aliveness in the chest area—reduced movement, reduced mobility, and reduced energy (closed heart chakra)—you will experience a few symptoms like: reduced respiration.

This, in effect, slows down the metabolism because of a lack of oxygen intake. Blood circulation, thus, will be of lesser quality. And what does all of that do to the body?

A whole string of things: you will be tired more often; your body won’t adapt to different climates/temperatures as well, so when it’s cold, your body won’t have the capacity to send an adequate andquality…amount of blood throughout the body to effectively warm it up; and finally, it affects your capacity to have a “heart-to-heart” connection with other people.

Finally, Sensations In My Chest

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  • Warm Feeling
  • Sense Of Compassion

My heart is warm. I feel slightly more compassionate, a more compassionate human being; not a lot more—but still, It’s something.

If I had to associate a sensation with “compassion”, it would probably be this one.

A warm feeling in the chest, like someone pouring hot water, delicately, a sweet sensation, the nicest I’ve felt since starting bioenergetics.

I’m never going to forget! I don’t want to forget it. Why would I forget anyway?

It’s part of my everyday life now. I’m just going to continue living this way. You do get used to it after a while though and stop noticing it, as often.

I hope to increase those kind of sensations in the future; my therapist says it’s important to keep opening up my chest area.

Happy Therapist

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  • Sees Me As A “Very Good Person” All Of A Sudden
  • Very “smily” with me

Friday: that’s the day I see her, at 3pm…every week. I looked closely at her.

And she looked genuinly surprised by the progress I’d made, in such a short amount of time.

She had this sort of “permenant smile” like when you’re truly mesmerized by something—a sunset, an eclipse, fireworks: I guess those would be good examples…where people just stay there, in awe of the moment

No lie, she had that look. She even said that I was a “very very good person”. I asked: “how would you know that?”. “Intuition”: she replied.

Skepticism Kicks In

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  • Affraid She’ll Only See The Good
  • Concerned She Doesn’t See Me Clearly

I looked at her perplexed, what has she been smoking? She barely knows me. Maybe she can’t handle my dark side and has to lie to herself.

These Bioenergetic Therapists are very sensitive and intuitive, abnormally so even—I just remembered. Maybe she’s right. Maybe I am the next Jesus! :-D. I can’t believe…that! Jesus wasn’t even a real person (son of god).

I…don’t…understand. How could she not see the dark, the bleak, the evil in me. People are made of both: good and bad, and a mixture of the two. It’s not one thing or the other.

There are different blends, different shapes, different…shades of grey (not referring to the movie) like a soup with several ingredients, they mix.

Even if you can isolate the different components of it with your sense of taste (would be hard though) you’d still experience the totality of it when you take it all in one go—the spoon doesn’t separate or discriminate; and the tongue doesn’t either, at least not readily.

I’m pretty concerned, about what she said. I’m not sure I liked it. I’m affraid she’ll delude herself, idealise me, make an image out of me… not see the real personand she’s looking at me with rose-tinted glasses. 

I’m not saying I’m bad, not at all. I’m just saying: I want her to know me. And that includes all the aspects…like I’ve just mentionned earlier.

All In All, I’m Happy

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  • Great Therapist
  • Hope For The Future

But to end on a positive note: I love my therapist; she’s so cool; she’s great; she’s…so emotionally expressive—I love that about her.

I know I’ll continue to feel new sensations, with her help, with her guidance. She’ll never read this though.

Number one reason being: she can’t read/speak english. And number two: she doesn’t know the existence of this site.

I’d be embarrassed if she knew, couldn’t look at her in the eyes after that. Must keep it a secret!  :mrgreen:

 

 

 

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